A perfect day

A perfect day has just begun, and I am preparing for a new day at work... pfff... what a regular day...
Did you ever asked yourself, dressing in the morning knowing that you'll be late (again), what the fuck would you lie about your boss? Ex. Hi, sorry for being late again, by a rat just hide under the hoot and when I start the engine the car just blow up!!! Maybe this is also the reason why I came in my outfit. Oh! sorry for wearing snickers today at the Big meeting, I'm sure they will understand me and they will blame it on the rat. Ok? Ohh my god, the fucking rat almost killed me... Ha ha ha !! Very funny mother fucker!!! Why don't you tell them, that you're an idiot, and you forgot to buy a car! You must have a car Steve to lie something like this to me...! Or, tell them you're an imbecile that didn't fucked his wife last night, and watched Private spice till 6 AM trying to finish a good handjob! Go to you're office right now, before I fucking throw you out the window!!!
Isn't that a perfect scenario?
Oh... I've got another one.
It's about you reaching home after a "long" day at work! You go inside the house, wondering what the fuck day is it, and what serial movie is on TV knowing what shit you will eat for dinner...
-Honey !!! What do we have for dinner? Same shit like yesterday?
-What did you had for dinner yesterday sugar?
-I had chinese food !!! Tell me you cooked something this evening...
Don't be a foul to open the fridge, you will die in a sec!! The smell will kill your neighbors too, and you will be sentenced to death after death!!! So be a smart guy, and get the fuck out ASAP!!! Go and buy junk food from Mc'Donalds or from KFC. Your stomach is used with shit food.
Don't forget to bring home some food, to your beloved wife!